Becoming an American citizen

I have been living in America for 25 years and last summer I decided to apply for US citizenship.  One of the reason is because I don't want to pay $450 every 10 years to renew my permanent resident card, also known as a green card. Another reason is that I was summoned to serve on a jury twice, but I couldn't go because that is a privilege for American citizens.  I don't think I am going back to Korea, and I pay taxes, but have no right to vote.  Considering all this, I came to the conclusion that becoming an American citizen would be the best thing.

I filled out the N-400 form with a fee of $720 ($640 for the application and $80 for fingerprints) in Aug 2016.  I received a letter about two weeks later with an appointment to take my fingerprints on September 2nd.  I was impressed by how fast they were moving the paperwork.  Then I didn't hear anything from them for what I thought was a very long time. 

Do you know how many people become US citizens every year?  Here is the statistic from USCIS
 In 2015, a total of 730,259 persons were naturalized. The leading countries of birth of new citizens were Mexico (105,958), India (42,213), the Philippines (40,815), and the People’s Republic of China (31,241). The largest number of persons naturalizing lived in California (155,979), New York (90,368), and Florida (81,960). No wonder it takes such a long time to process.  Actually, it is not bad in Idaho, but I heard that California has a really long waiting period. 

I waited and waited some more and finally on January 2nd I received a letter informing me that my interview and civics test would be on March 14th.  The test was easy.  It was a random selection of 10 out of 100 questions, and I only needed to answer 6 of them correctly. The interview part was also quick and easy since I have not had trouble with the law and not a member of the Communist party or a Nazi.  The only thing left was the oath ceremony on April 27th.

So on April 27th, 2017 I became an American citizen with 47 other people from 24 different countries.  The ceremony itself was really short; it took only 30 minutes or so.  It started with introducing everyone by the country where they came from.  It was the last time that we would be known as Koreans, Mexicans, or Iraqis. After that, 47 of us raised our right arm and repeated after the official the Oath of Allegiance. 

          

As soon as he said "entirely renounce..." the seriousness of what was happening hit me so hard that I burst into tears and could not stop.  The tears took me by surprise. I mean I knew from the beginning what the "Oath of Allegiance" meant, and I signed the paper that I am willingly taking the oath.  So I couldn't understand why the tears.  Saying goodbye to my mother country was harder than I thought it would be.  My family is still there. I was born and raised there.  Even though I didn't think I was loyal and patriotic to my country, in the end I found out that I was.  It is just that I never had to think about it.  

After the "Oath of Allegiance" we watched a brief video of others who also became citizens of this great country.  Then we all got our certificate of citizenship, and ended with reciting the pledge of allegiance. 

I couldn't talk about my experience for a few days.  Every time when I thought about it, and talked about it, I felt tears coming and my heart ached.  I couldn't talk to my friends, who were so happy for me, about it because I didn't want them to see my sadness as my reluctance to become an American.   My emotions were running deep and strong and I didn't have the right words to describe them.  Mike used word "bittersweet",  but it was much more than that.  For a few days I felt like there was a hole in my heart where Korea used to be.  I have lived in America for half of my life and during that time I developed a love for this country. So what are my feelings? They are: sad, happy, hope, new beginning, lost, homesick, and most of all love.  In the Bible Ruth says, "whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people." (Ruth 1:16).  I will be where my family is.  They are Americans so I will be one.  What I thought was the logical decision became a very emotional decision in the end when the whole identity issue decided to join the party. 

I am excited for new opportunities.  I can vote and serve on a jury.  Tomorrow I am going to apply for a passport.